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Humour is something that it is very difficult to copyright. Jokes travel, usually very quickly, by word of mouth and are often adapted to fit the situation. Where I know I can tell you where I first heard it quoted - I am fairly sure this will not be where it originated (note the first joke). If you know different I will be glad to acknowledge or remove the joke.
Some you may find funny others you almost certainly will not. Enjoy those you do think are humorous.
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I first heard this joke as told about nuns. For years, when I was a member of the Salvation Army, I told it about Salvationists (it is surprising how easily nun jokes translated into Salvationist jokes!) It is now adapted to Friends
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'A Quaker farmer came downstairs one night having heard someone there to find an burglar. He said, raising his gun, 'Friend I mean thee no harm but thou art standing where I am about to fire'.
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One World War II Quaker conscientious objector had been a professional wrestler. Once when he and some other inmates of the Coshocton CPS camp in Ohio made a trip into town, they were hassled about their pacifism by some local youths, who insisted that only force could change the German's views.
In response, the ex-wrestler took off his coat, challenged one of the local boys to a match, and promptly threw the townie across the room. He then asked the youth, "Now do you believe that force won't change people's views?"
"Heck no!" the local boy hollered back. "That's exactly my point," said the Quaker, who put on his coat and left.
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Quakers get fed up with comments linking them to a certain brand of porridge oats but I could not resist this
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Then there was the Quaker who was refused entry to heaven by Peter who said 'I'm not making porridge for just one.
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Quaker Quimericks by Seth B. Hinshaw
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An honest old Quaker from Wales
Is a marvellous teller of tales
But how I do wish
When he catches a fish
He'd weigh it on accurate scales
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A miserly Quaker called Pucket
Stashed bundles of bonds in a bucket
But then came the time
When he hadn't a dime
The Internal Revenue tucket!!
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Said an old-timey member, my daughter
Declines to live plain like I taughter
She wanders away
From the old Quaker way
She doesn't say 'thee' like she aughter
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